28 Mar Missed connection
I recently had a lesson on human connection. Or perhaps disconnection. A friend who is a lawyer took me to Court so I could speak with a few Spanish interpreters. (I’ve considered getting certified as a Court interpreter and I wanted to know more about the profession.)
He had a short hearing appearance, so we were out by 10:30am. On the way to his house, where I had left my car, he asked me if I wanted to go for a coffee. I said I needed to get back home to check on my dog and to work. As soon as I was in my car and on the freeway, I regretted my decision.
I had an opportunity to connect with another human being, and I let it go. It was a unique moment in time to know a bit more about a man who has been in my life for over 20 years, as the husband of one of my close friends. We’ve spent many hours in each other’s house, camped together, but haven’t had many meaningful one-on-one conversations. I said no, almost automatically, and missed the chance to know him better.
The problem with a missed connection is that once you let it go, the opportunity to reconnect may never come back.
If I lived each day as if it were my last, I would probably have put the relationship above a duty that could have been delayed without much consequence. I wouldn’t have missed the chance to strengthen that human connection.
And the truth is, every day is our last day, as it will never be repeated exactly as it went on. Each event happens only once, even those that we do routinely. The light may fall a little higher on our cup of coffee, our partner’s mood may be different than yesterday, I may have one more grey hair.
Being fully present, instead of having our minds set on the next thing that needs to happen, can help us value the small moments that make up a more meaningful life.